


Conservative Corruption

by stylescoalition



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Blasphemy, Crack, Humor, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 16:45:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylescoalition/pseuds/stylescoalition
Summary: AJ Styles and Randy Orton love guns and Donald Trump. But there's one thing they love even more - each other.





	Conservative Corruption

**Author's Note:**

> this is not a serious fanfiction at all and if you genuinely like aj styles and/or randy orton, this fic probably isn't for u

**** Randy’s face crinkles up in vexation, huffing deeply out of his nose as he throws his brand new iPhone X to the ground. It shatters into a million pieces, much like Randy’s heart did when Barack Obama was elected for another term. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” He exclaims, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nobody understands him! All of these idiots on Twitter keep coming after him for his very intelligent opinion and Randy doesn’t get it! Isn’t America supposed to be about freedom? That’s literally the First Amendment of the Constitution but everybody seems to have forgot that - he’s allowed to say whatever he wants and nobody should attack him for it! Why should they say whatever they want to him? Ugh! People are so weird! This is why Randy doesn’t talk to people at all.

And now he needs to buy a new phone. Thanks, Obama.

However, a wonderful sight decides to enter Randy’s locker room at that moment - sure, it’s not Donald Trump, but somebody even hotter! With a bigger ass! Randy’s steel blue eyes light up as they stare at the face of one AJ Styles. Randy’s built up many walls in his life, much like the wall his president will build in the near future, but they always crumble down whenever AJ is near. AJ is… gosh, he’s pretty! So pretty! Randy can like, totally like him without any threat to his sexuality!

 

“Randy, gee golly, are you alright!” AJ exclaims as he struts on over. “I heard your phone break and came over as soon as I could, to check on you! That’s what Jesus would do.”

“Yeah man, I’m fine…” Randy purses his lips before he suddenly stands up from the bench. “Except that I’m NOT.”

AJ gasps like an old white woman in church, bringing his hands up to his mouth. “You shouldn’t lie like that, Randy! Lying’s a sin!”

“You know what else is a sin? Stupid people.”

AJ clears his throat and flips his long hair back, the length inspired by his biggest crush of all - Jesus Christ. “I’ve read the bible over 78 times front and back and not once has it said anything about stupid being a sin.” He states as a matter of fact.

“It’s called a joke, dude.”

“I don’t think so but you know what is a joke? All of these _liberals_  trying to tell us what to do.”

“Right! God, they’re so politically correct and oversensitive, I’m sick of it!” Randy whines, stomping his foot on the floor like a petulant child. “It’s like, give it a rest, you know? Chill.”

“Is that what has you down?” AJ asks, walking up to Randy and resting a hand over his large bicep, even larger than Randy’s brain.

“People are being mean to me.” Randy pouts, looking the other way. “They’re not… they’re not the youngest World Heavyweight Champion, they have no right to come at me.”

“They really don’t.” AJ nods. “Not as hot as you either.”

What in Donald Trump’s name! Did AJ “GAY community?!” Styles just call him hot?

 

Randy’s head snaps to look at AJ, narrowing his eyes accusingly. “Isn’t being gay against that bible of yours?”

“Not if you say no homo!”   


“But you didn’t say that.”

“... as long as the grapefruits don’t touch, it’s okay.”

“Grapefruits?”

“You know. Your Jesus Zipper?”

“No.”

AJ huffs and flips his hair back in a rather dramatic fashion before he takes his hand off Randy’s bicep to press it on his chest instead. “Are you going to let me take your mind off those liberals or what?”

“Are you gonna take me to your bible study?”

“Don’t be a goofy goober, Randy. Those are on Sundays.” AJ tells him as he pushes Randy up against the couch in the locker room. The back of Randy’s knees hit the couch and he falls back onto it, AJ somehow managing to fall on his lap rather perfectly to straddle him.

There was a lot of things Randy was expecting this month. He expected himself to go to the local All Lives Matter rally, finally clean that “Make America Great Again” hat of his, and listening to his best friend, Cody, berate him about his poor choices in life. But what he wasn’t expecting was a lapful of AJ Styles, nor the throbbing hard on he immediately has. The last time Randy was this hard was November 8th, 2016.

 

“Today, Randy, I’m going to blow your mind right out of this flat earth.” AJ whispers huskily into Randy’s ear, tongue tracing along the shell.

A chill sends up Randy’s spine at AJ’s hot and very inaccurate words and his hands go to slip into the back of AJ’s tights to grab handfuls of that big, bouncy ass that he’s always thought of in his mind everytime he gets to look at him. Stupid sexy AJ! Literally.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Randy asks before he decides to go ahead with sucking onto AJ’s neck to leave a very pronounced hickey, even bigger than his ignorance.

“Like I said… as long as the grapefruits don’t touch, then God stays happy.” AJ moans, moving his hand up to feel at the hickey Randy has left on his neck.

“I’m gonna make you even _happier.”_ Randy promises as he grabs the hem of AJ’s shirt, throwing it up and over his head. “I’m your God tonight.”

AJ’s breath hitches and he stares at Randy rather dangerously with a dark hint of lust glazing over his eyes. “Randy, that’s blasphemy. You can’t say that…” And then, AJ growls with a primal need before he slips the tights and thong off his body to be completely naked on the lap of the Viper, the Apex Predator, the Legend Killer, blahblahblah. “Not unless you’re _inside me.”_

“Why don’t you send him your thoughts and prayers?” Randy suggests as he pulls off his trunks, his very hard, very thick cock popping from their cage, much like the cage Donald Trump would’ve been in had he been charged for any of his crimes.

“God always answers our thoughts and prayers.” AJ breathes before he scurries back onto Randy’s naked lap, a hand moving down to grab Randy’s manhood while the other steadies itself on Randy’s shoulders. “And I pray that your cock is going to absolutely destroy me.” AJ tells him as he sinks down onto Randy’s length with a harsh cry, his head throwing back in pure pleasure.

Randy grits his teeth as the influx of pleasure surges through him, his hands grabbing onto AJ’s asscheeks to spread them apart, not wasting time as he begins to thrust up hard inside him. His thick cock easily glides along AJ’s warm inner walls, the intense heat and closeness reminding him of the time he spent in that cramped military prison for going AWOL as a dumb teenager. The moans fly easily out of AJ’s mouth as Randy fucks up into him, keeps him grounded right there on his lap with his tight, crushing hold.

Each thrust is like a gunshot in its sudden harshness, the way each pound hits his prostate and sends shockwaves of ecstasy through AJ’s system. AJ doesn’t believe in gun control but he _definitely_  believes that Randy should control his because it’s all too much and quite frankly, he doesn’t understand why this is legal. Nothing so powerful, nothing that could make him feel like _this_  should even be allowed. Imagine the lives Randy has ruined with this!

 

“Like the way I feel inside you, baby?” Randy asks, gazing up into AJ’s eyes. “You feel all those eight inches inside you?”

“Every single one.” AJ moans, scraping his nails down Randy’s chest. “Now I know why you were the most popular wrestler searched for in the gay community…”

“Now it’s you.” Randy smirks, moving their positions so AJ was on his back with Randy on top, in missionary. “I know all of them would _love_  a piece of you.”

“N-No, no…” AJ shakes his head. “That’s against God’s will, I can only give myself up to one person. One man. Sex is _sacred.”_

“How sacred do you think this feels?” Randy asks as he pulls out all the way to the tip before circling back inside him to grind the head of his cock constantly against AJ’s prostate. “Any woman ever make you feel like this before?”

AJ’s eyes blow open in pleasure before they screw shut, one hand holding onto one of Randy’s shoulder while the other holds onto the back of his head to tangle into the fake strands of hair. “N-No, no, no, oh _fuck-”_

“Was that a _swear_  I heard from your mouth, AJ?” Randy asks with an amused grin, tilting his head as he focuses on the older man’s face. “That’s not the Jesus way.” He tells him as he moves a hand to wrap around his throat, pressing his fingertips in hard enough but so hard to choke him - just to send a message that he’s the dominant one here not to be fucked with _  and that goes for all those pussies on his Twitter feed too, god damnit. _

“I-I’m a good Christian, I swear!” AJ exclaims, the hand on Randy’s shoulder reaching down to grab the wrist by his throat. “I-I’ll be a good Christian for you, father, I promise.”

Father? What the… oh my god, he can’t even bring himself to say “daddy” but he can say fuck? Talk about skewed priorities. Randy would roll his eyes if AJ didn’t feel and look so hot, a problem he imagines many people have with him. Somebody so good looking but so stupid should be seen and not heard, Randy thinks. Thankfully for Randy, he’s incredibly good looking _and_  incredibly smart! Everybody else is jealous of him for it and that’s why they choose to attack him everyday!

 

Randy’s thrusts grow rugged and choppy the closer he gets and his hand sort of unlatches from AJ’s throat so he can focus solely on their pleasure down there. His hands grab onto AJ’s thick thighs, nails digging in crushingly hard and no doubt leaving marks that God would _so_  not approve of. By the time Randy reaches his orgasm, it seems that AJ has reached his as well and in a beautiful, conservative, damning, erotic, fabulous, gay harmony, the two men finishing at the exact same time because you can never leave your very privileged, very pretty white brethren behind.

The come shoots out of Randy’s cock to paint AJ’s inner walls white and AJ’s ass clenches around him to milk him and his unregistered, pleasurable firearm for all he’s worth. AJ’s jesus juice drips onto his torso and hits high to spurt onto his chest and as Randy continues to rock in and out of him gently, AJ dips a finger into the jesus juice to taste himself - and it tastes good, just like God intended.

Randy pulls out of AJ, breathing heavily as he reaches over to the table in front for some tissues. He wipes the sweat off his forehead before throwing it away into the garbage can where the rest of his potential as a human being is. Randy swallows and looks over to AJ, eyes scanning over his well-built body as he contemplates a thought in his head.

 

“What are you looking at?” AJ asks as he laps up the last drop of come from his finger.

“Just thinking…” Randy narrows his eyes before looking up at AJ. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” AJ nods. “Whatever you want.”

“Do you…” He licks along his lips, nibbling gently at them. “Um… do you uh, want to come to the All Lives Matter rally with me next week?”

AJ’s whole face brights up, like he just saw the beautiful man, Jesus Christ, himself. “I’ve always wanted to go to one!” He exclaims, complete happiness in his tone and etched in every single one of his features.

Randy’s face brights up as well. For once, it’s not so bad being a rich, white male.


End file.
